Education

The Beast with a Billion Backs

Good news, everyone! There's a report on TV with some very bad news! Actually, that's still true. We'll need to have a look inside you with this camera.

There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. Anyone who laughs is a communist! Morbo will now introduce tonight’s candidates… Morbo’s good friend, Richard Nixon.

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The Ugly Side of the Moon

The Leaked Secret to Apollo Discovered

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. You don’t win friends with salad. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity.

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The Birth of Lies

You want a guarantee, buy a toaster

  • The Birth of Lies
  • The Birth of Lies

Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

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All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Aw, you're all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

Insane in the Mainframe

Cops, another community I'm not part of. God created pudding, and then he rested. I've lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before. God created pudding, and then he rested.

Dexter